If you want to become an influential thought leader, live by these 3 principles

If you want to become an influential thought leader, live by these 3 principlesIf you want to become an influential thought leader, live by these 3 principlesI live my life by a few very basic principlesIf you only focus on how much you can give, you never have to worry about who takes and doesnt give back.There is no sense in debating the strategy of something unless the ship is already moving (You cant steer a stationary ship).You arebothwhat you say you are and what you do on a daily basis.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreIn short I care far more about the process than I do the destination. Because Ive learned there is no destination to begin with unless a process is inmotion.When it comes to marketing and messaging, these basic principles dont adjustmuchIf you only focus on how much you can give, the less youll have to sell.There is no sense in debating the strategy of someth ing unless the ship is already moving (You cant steer a stationary ship).You arebothwhat you say you are and what you do on a daily basis.Ive built a career for myself explaining these principles to otherpeopleWhen I first started writing onQuorawhen I was 22 years old, fresh out of college, my only intention was to write things people wanted to read.My dream was to become a successful author.In the process, I learned the art of writing things people want to read is actually an extremely valuable and versatile skill set. Its the reason why, at 27 years old, Ive found myself with a seat at the table. I am constantly the youngest person in the room. I am never (not by alargemargin) the wealthiest person at the dinner. I spend more time talking to people whose net worths are north of $50 million than I do my own 20-something peers thats just the nature of working exclusively with C-suite executives and successful serial entrepreneurs.Principle 1 for me is to give 100x more than I ask i nreturnThis has stabbed me in the back a number of times.Ive had people steal my work word-for-word and put their name on it. Ive had people offer mutually-beneficial partnerships where they extracted as much value as possible without giving anything in return. Ive had people ask for my help with a handshake and a promise that theyd return the favor and then went MIA. Ive had people sign contracts with me, only to pretend like they never existed.But those wounds pale in comparison to the opportunities Ive gained as a result. By giving, and giving, and giving, for everytwoof those unfortunate circumstances there aretwo hundredother positive results.Someone stole my work. Sucks.Lots and lots and lots of other people saw my work, loved it, and paid me handsomely to do the same for them.Someone didnt return the favor. Sucks.This morning I woke up to 5 inbound consulting emails, 2 referral emails, and a new client.If you want to become a thought leader in yur industry, this is just part of the game. Its the people who spend (waste) more time counting their losses and chasing down old promises that lose sight of the next they need to take. And its the people who are so afraid to give, that probably dont have much worthwhile to give in the first place.Principle 2, You cant steer a stationary shipThe worst mistake a writer can make is to sit there brainstorming, tapping his or her pen on the desk, refusing to put down the first word.Because any good writer knows the moment that first word comes out, oh well then the second one goes there, and the third one comes next, and well what if we changed the second word so then we could use this fourth word and so on, and so forth.Thats because nobody brainstorms a novel. Just like nobody brainstorms a great product or service or company. Building anything requires doing, and then reflecting. Doing, then reflecting.As a mentor of mine used to say, Brainstorming is like mental masturbation. It feels good, but does it really get you anywhere?The vast majority of advertising and public relations firms like to position themselves as strategy experts. Everybody loves being the strategist. Its way more fun to sit at a table and brainstorm really great ideas, show up, wave your hands around and paint verbal pictures of a betterfuture, and then close out the presentation with, Now you just have to find someone to execute it.I find that entire charade to be an incredible waste of time.You know at the end ofThe Big Shortwhen Mark Baum asks, How much bigger is the market for ensuring mortgage bonds than actual mortgages?Thats pretty much advertising in a nutshell. People would much rather direct traffic than drive themselves (lots of wordplay in that sentence).Whenever a client asks me, Whats our strategy? my response is, Start with a few broad topics, and go from there.Some people dont trust this process. I honestly dont know any other way.Going back to 22-year-old Cole writing on Quora, I didnt sit down that firs t day and said, Heres how this is all going to play out.Not even close.I sat down. Wrote my first Answer. Scrunched my face because it wasnt my favorite. Forced me to hit Publish anyway. Went to sleep unsure of what I had written. And then woke up the next day and did it all over again.900+ Quora Answers,400+ Inc Magazine columns,a book, and hundreds of guest blogs later, and Im the 27-year-old they bring in when they want their companys message not to get lost in the noise. And the reason people trust me when I say, The strategy is to start and adjust from there, is because I writeevery single day. My body of work online is a testament to my unique approach.Which is why I tell people all the time, if they want to become an influential voice in their industry, you cant just sit there and think youre going to have it all figured out before you start. At best, pinpoint a 30,000-foot goal, work backward to come up with some general concepts, and then begin.Principle 3 You are both what you say you are and what you do on a dailybasisOver the past 5 years, I have turned well over 100 people into industry thought leaders.These are people who came to me everyone from peers and friends, up to C-level executives and wanted to know, How do I build a personal brand, similar to what youve built for yourself?Going back to Principle 1 here, Im going to give you the same Answer I tell anyone and everyone.Its a pretty simpleprocessWhat do you know? What are you an expert in?How do you know what you know? What taught you? Who taught you? What was a moment in time where you learned that lesson?Say those two things, over and over again.The people who really listen when I share this advice with them have gone on to see the exact sameresults.They started writing regularly on Quora and/or Medium.They changed their bio to say,This is who I am and this is exactly what I do.They started writing from a place of experience, sharing both what they know andhowthey learned it.Ive watched a nd helped people take this advice, put it into practice, and rack up millions of views on their content. Ive watched them get republished by major publications. Ive watched them become advisors on massively successful projects. Ive watched them make huge leaps in their careers, all because they claimed their land and trusted the process.I have more emails than I can count from people who have read something Ive written, applied it to their own messaging, and seen its impact.Now, heres what happened to the people who failed tolistenFor every one of these success stories is a whole handful of people that want the shortcut.They want their first article to go viral (it wont).They want every article to include the phrase,and thats why we created our amazing patent-pending product that is revolutionizing this 1000 milliarden dollar industry.(nobody cares that statement doesnt add value to the reader)They want to know how they can get more press (if you trust the process this happens on it s own).They dont want to share anything personal but they want to stand out(thats like saying you want people to see your light but dont want it to be dark outside).They want all the big, shiny results, but only want to put out a few pieces of content (even Richard Branson and Elon Musk have to stay active on social media to stay relevant).This is precisely why I sayYou are both what you say you are and what you do on a daily basis.Imitation thought leaders are really great at the first part of that sentenceThey pay a PR firm to make sure columnists are saying incredible things about them (Enter CEO Name, who has been amazing for over 20 years.)Their website is covered in self-promotional copy devoid of any substance as tohowthey actually do what they doWe build meaningful partnerships between like-minded consumers and synergistic partners.(Whatever that means)They pump out content rigorously sculpted by an internal communications team that doesabsolutely nothingfor a reader except push the companys agenda.But real thought leaders know their priority should always be on the second part of Principle 3- and what you do on a daily basis.You cant expect a press piece to move the needle very much if the columnist is talking about what a powerful voice you are in your industry, only for a reader toGoogleyour name and find a bunch of empty social profiles or worse, nothing at all.You cant expect people to be vertrauenswrdig to you and your words if you arent loyal to them and their desire to learn something from you on a regular basis.You cant expect an ad to make someone sit back in their chair and say to themselves, Wow, I really agree with that. I need to reach out to them. I need to work with this person.I dont run ads. I dont have a PR firm.And yet, the exact type of person I want to work with shows up in my inbox on a daily, or at least weekly basis. How they found themselves writing me an email wasnt because I tricked them into a funnel, or I had someone else talk about how great I am. They reached out to me because of pieces like this, where I shared 1) what I know, and 2) how I learned it and the message resonated with them.Ive been shouting these things from the rooftops since Day1If you only focus on how much you can give, you never have to worry about who takes and doesnt give back.There is no sense in debating the strategy of something unless the ship is already moving (You cant steer a stationary ship).You arebothwhat you say you are and what you do on a daily basis.Becoming a thought leader, working with the people you truly want to work with, attracting an audience, attracting the right kind of attention, even building a business around yourself isnt rocket science.Its just, in order to do it well, you have to be willing to do 3 things most human beings struggle to do in their everyday livesFocus on giving more than worrying about who is going to take and not give back.Trust the process and get to work before you fully understa nd the destination.Do it on a regular (daily) basis.Thats it.This article first appeared on Medium.